Tis the season. [to be somewhat scattered]

I’m always a little bummed that we can’t space out Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s almost too much of a good thing. You’re trying to figure out when/if you can take off work or travel to be with your loved ones. Especially when you marry [or partner] and become part of a whole other family that has their own traditions and celebrating space.

I love it, though. Unfortunately, I don’t see the majority of both sides of my family nearly enough — the places we go in life.
Tis the season to soak it all in.

Tis the season to let it out.

I’ve been wrestling back and forth with the choices I’m making for my future. The word “my” can just as easily be interchangeable with “our” at this point in life. To work in the food industry as owner/cook/whatever would require so much of me. At least I’m gaining some wisdom on the matter. Such as: “Do something else with your life.”

Before I can allow myself to dive into the world of the food service industry, I need a little hard experience. I need to know whether or not this is something I can sustain with my personality. How would it affect my marriage — my family — my future — my love of cooking and feeding people?

It is more than a love for cooking, but an almost obsessive, screwed up infatuation with the business, which maybe I have. Just because I throw a decent dinner for friends, does not mean I should cook for a living. I love cooking for my friends, but would probably do so less if I were to cook for a living. The world of cooking is nice and glamorous on TV but isn’t that what TV does to a person? It glamorizes the average. The last time I sat in front of a TV there were six shows on at the same time about selling old crap or buying rented storage space from the folks who couldn’t make their payments. We’ve made a hit show out of a 24/7 pawn shop.

It’s so easy to glamorize the average because we’re all there. We get to watch that lucky tiny, tiny percent make royalties off their blue collar jobs.

I am far away from counting out cooking for a living — but I’ve come to a place in life where I need to gain experience with the whole “cooking for a living” thing. It’s not so easy to jump into that. So, I have a few options in the future that might mean I will be doing a lot of dishes and free prep work in kitchens, while of course, keeping my day job.

And so be it — if it gives me any reason to doubt this line of work, then it was well worth it.

This came off a bit scattered, and that’s okay. I just wanted to write these things and process my journey with those who care enough to read and invest in my life.

So, to bring it all back in, cooking gives me a great joy. I’m giddy just thinking about holiday menus. Rolling pie dough while your family drinks coffee in the next room. Eating your favorite stuffing that mom makes and reliving that rich past that will always bring us together.

It all comes back to that. The experience. The meaning of food and all of our senses taking it in…

..and living it out.

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