Would you do it all over again?
The things that made your heart so hard
then hard again?
that is all I feel,
each day is your story, forever.
you will never gain back your innocence
when you didn’t know
when you didn’t know what things felt like
what they took from you,
and your wild wild heart.
now, those things make you tired
they make you scared
sometimes they make you want to be someone else,
not enough can happen.
like when a star begins to die,
it pulls pulls pulls,
it swirls like a sink draining water,
dirty oily water, littered with every little thing
faster and faster the closer you get,
and not enough things can happen,
in fact, everything happens,
nothing escapes (not even light, they say.)
light is heat and radiation and safety,
hot and red and full of fury.
it has its own pull,
one day, not in my lifetime,
our star will collapse
and every atom of our memory will be pulled into some greater mystery.
but not yet.
the fire and rage and furnace of your heart is still here,
as is your memory and your heart as it pulls pulls pulls
you are also made of the cosmos,
I would do it again.
including the pain,
because it is where everything began in me again
as it pulled everything into my universe again
every. little. thing.